A little Sabbath Keeping

Remember the Sabbath, and keep it holy.
- Exodus 20:8

One of the most overlooked commandments is this one - to keep the Sabbath. I don't even think we have an idea of what it really means. This fall, I took a forced sabbatical of sorts. I had major surgery, and for many weeks, I didn't feel well enough to do very much. Many friends advised me not to overdo - but I didn't even feel well enough to be tempted. I rested a lot. I healed.

When I was preparing for my surgery, I put a lot of things in place to help me get through these quiet weeks. I was purposeful, and committed to healing. I didn't want to injure myself. I also had some big anxiety about this time, and planning it out helped me to feel I had some small amount of control. Yes, my sabbatical was forced - but I also decided to CHOOSE it. I had high hopes of reading, watching movies, typing away on my laptop, addressing Christmas cards - all these sounded like quiet activities and things I could enjoy.

I didn't get through all I hoped. I didn't read a book I was crazy about. Most of the movies I had hoped to watch were less than exciting. I couldn't hold my laptop very well and be comfortable - and sitting for long periods of time straight up in a chair just weren't possible. As for the Christmas cards, it turned out that my kids had to help me and that we worked in short shifts to get them ready. I just needed more help and more rest than I anticipated.

But Sabbath resonated even more strongly - for what I came to realize is that being conscious of Sabbath time doesn't mean doing "quiet activities." It means doing a whole lot of nothing. It means resting.

And it means playing (which isn't nothing, but a huge something) - which quite frankly, I don't do enough of at all.

I didn't feel well enough to play during my recovery, but I was so conscious of wanting to play. I could hear my children more distinctly as they laughed and made up games. I was aware that fun was being had without me away from the "outside world." My friend Jen said her goal this year was to "bring back the fun." I am right there with her - I know I need to bring back some fun.

My friend Kelly gave me a great book during my surgery time called Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in our Busy Lives by Wayne Muller. Early in the book, Muller says this:
Sabbath is more than the absence of work; it is not just a day off, when we catch up on television or errands. It is the presence of something that arises when we consecrate a period of time to listen to what is most deeply beautiful, norushing, or true. It is time consecrated withour attention, our midnflnees, honoring those quiet forces of grace or spirit that sustain and heal us… This book is, then, a plea for Sabbath-keeping. In part for ourselves, in part so that when we go forth to heal the wounds of our world, whatever we build, create, craft, or serve will have the wisdom of rest in it… The human spirit is naturally generous; the instant we are filled, our first impulse is to be useful, to be kind, to give something away.

Some things happened over my recovery that reminded me how much people need to feel gratitude - both as givers and receivers. I was reminded time and time again about how important it is to do self care, so that we might care for others. And I sometimes felt washed in the guilt of "sitting around doing nothing," even though that couldn't have been further from the truth.

We are naturally generous people - when we are filled, when our buckets have water to spare, when our cups run over. But when the well goes dry, when gratitude is lost, when Sabbath is neglected - we will strike out in less than productive ways.

When we go to church on Sundays and it feels meaningless, we are not experiencing Sabbath. When we spend our day running around like nutters, we are not experiencing Sabbath. When we don't taste our food or don't look people in the eyes, or scream because we're overwhelmed with all we have to do - we are not experiencing Sabbath.

All of these examples and more are asking us to reconsider our spiritual life. What are we doing or not doing that requires our quiet and focused attention?

Sabbath is not easy, but Sabbath is gift to us. It is counter cultural. It is relationship shifting. It is life expanding. Muller says, "Forgetting Sabbath is like forgetting to unwrap the most beautiful gift under the tree."

It doesn't have to come on a Sunday. It doesn't have to happen in a building designated as church. You don't have to be bored, and you don't have to be alone. Sabbath can start in your life in small and luxurious inhales - and it will change you.

The other thing I learned during my recovery is this - although my healing has been slow, there is an end in sight. I know this is not true for all my friends who suffer. Many of them do not have an ending to their suffering where they can see it - whether it be physical or mental or emotional. They don't have "week 6" to look forward to, when they will feel normal again. They can't schedule their Sabbath healing to work within a time frame. They don't have family or friends to help them during their healing days. I know how fortunate I feel for these things, and how compassionate it has made me feel toward others.

For all of you who brought meals to our family, loved my children, sent me cards or messages, offered to help, visited me in the hospital and home - you helped bring Sabbath to my door - for me, and for mine. Thank you for gifting me so generously. Thank you for making it so easy for me to accept help.

So, now I am back. Wisdom is back. Life is back to normal for the most part. But Sabbath lingers still, beckoning me back to rest and play. Would you join me? In 2010, would you take the cue from my friend Jen, and bring back the fun? Have a little rest? Give yourself a break?

God has been there inviting you all along - your job is just to accept the invitation.

Happy Sabbath keeping. Amen.

In Wisdom,
Brandi Calhoun Diamond