Solitude

There is something so religious about being alone.
This week I have time to do so. Kids are away, husband is at work.
House is quiet and beckons me to filter through it.
I sweep away the mess and make clean spaces and it surely heals my soul.
Here I am, an adult again, responsible for just me.
I'm walking, I'm running, I'm reading, I'm watching.
Going through old files, physical and mental.
Peeling back layers that business has allowed me to resist.
The church has always honored solitude, required it.
Jesus loved it - he went away time and time again to get centered.
Get focused.
All I can hear right now is the air conditioner humming.
Ahhh. I soak it up like a sponge.
I know how much it is needed, how ravenous I feel of the time to only be defined as me.
But the best part is the coming together afterward…
For no matter how much my heart might protests the day to day of life -
It is the air I breathe.
"No man is an island, entire of itself" - John Donne so aptly said.
So while I am held fast in the longing for self care and projects and to-do lists
Unscheduled, focused, gifted time -
I know that too long of it makes me all together lonely.
While there are times I'd love "just five minutes of peace…"
I still wouldn't trade those kids for all the tea in China.
While there are times I'd love to sleep uninterrupted,
I still would never trade my sometimes snoring husband.
I see the gifts for what they truly are.
Saying yes to one thing is always saying no to another -
So it is necessary to find gratitude and balance.
They are keys to life, visitors in our spirits, gentle dictators of our outlooks.
Despite his adventures "Into the Wild," Christopher McCandless ends his story with:
"Happiness only real when shared."
For all the lofty ideas he had on society and life and freedom,
He managed to miss the essentials of sharing, and of love.
So, while I relish my solitude, I most cherish it because I know of its ending.
Good God, I am grateful for time apart and time reunited.
Stir my soul to receive both with your blessing.
Amen.

In Wisdom,
Brandi Calhoun Diamond

Wisdom's Orchard is growing over the summer! You may check our website and not notice many course offerings at this time. We'll have more coming soon, but right now we're planting seeds and tending our trees! If you have ideas you'd like to plant for future courses with us, feel free to send them to brandi@wisdomem.com. We'd love to hear from you! Then sit back and enjoy your summer - we'll return soon with a smorgasbord of course recipes!