August 17, 2008

Everything I ever needed to know I may have learned from Lemony Snicket.

In case you don’t know who Lemony Snicket is, it may be because you haven’t yet read his books, better known as A Series of Unfortunate Events. These books are about three children called the Bauldelaires.

I knew I was going to love the series when I read the first page of the first book:

If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle… I’m sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes.

The seventh book continues this line of thought, noting:

And if you insist on reading this book instead of something more cheerful, you will most certainly find yourself moaning in despair instead of wriggling in delight, so if you have any sense at all you will put this book down and pick up another one. I know of a book, for instance, called The Littlest Elf, which tells the story of a teensy-weensy little man who scurries about Fairyland having all sorts of adorable adventures, and you can see at one that you should probably read The Littlest Elf and wriggle over the lovely things that happened to this imaginary creature in a made-up place, instead of reading this book and moaning aver the terrible things that happened [here]…

I was drawn to the story by the sheer fact of human nature and intrigue, but I was also drawn in because when I discovered the books, I had been going through a difficult time in my life. It was literally refreshing to read something “not happy” that was still clever and interesting. The secret identity of the author, the fate of the characters, and the silliness of it all drew me in. Lemony Snicket made a fan out of me, allowing me to laugh at my self and my situation a bit.

But I do have to say there is another huge reason why I love these books. It is because they tell the tales of WHAT draws us out of misery, what gets us through, what we need when the world falls apart.

The answer to that, of course, is love.

Time and time again, through terrible circumstances, the three Baudelaire siblings stick together, lean on each other, use their best gifts, and share their love. It is their care for each other that makes the story compelling. So, just as you are sitting in the midst of their dire circumstances, the books let us peek instead into gentle and intimate scenes of caring and grace and love. The children can depend on one another. They stick together. And they remind each other that they are “noble enough” because they TRY to be noble.

At the beginning of this I said everything I ever needed to know I may have learned from Lemony Snicket; “may have” being key.

Because I have also learned these things in my faith journey.

Our faith teaches that the community of faith should be there for one another - loving, keeping watch, standing by, sharing grace, trying to be ‘noble enough.’ What we can best offer one another is that even through the darkest of circumstances that we will not be lonely, but wrapped in friendship.

The importance of this in our faith and lives came up again for me this week while reading an article about Steven Curtis Chapman’s family in People magazine. Steven is as a contemporary Christian singer and songwriter. In May this year, Steven and his wife Mary Beth lost Maria, one of their adopted daughters, in a tragic accident. Their son Will accidentally hit Maria when she ran to meet his approaching vehicle and could not be seen. In the article, the Chapmans not only talked about their deep grief over losing Maria, but also the important need to immediately be present and loving with Will. In the article, Mary Beth says this:
“Immediately, I got Will and the two little girls and me to see a trauma counselor. I’m so proud of Will, allowing us to get him the help he needs. I can honestly say from the time the accident happened, I have nothing but love for Will. More love probably. And I think that is the miracle. That God can replace any confusion and any anger, because it’s just not there. It doesn’t mean it hasn’t been hard. If I could take his pain away, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But we’ll do the next best thing and walk with him.”

If I could take his pain away, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But we’ll do the next best thing and walk with him. I felt these words summed up the most incredible amount of care for the grieving, from the grieving. They don’t make it look easy; in fact, Steven also quotes in the article, “Every lyric I’ve ever written has been tested beyond what I ever imagined… I knew I might be losing one of my children, but I was determined not to lose two. The heart of my son was breaking in a way that was unimaginable.” So, they are walking through it together, with deep questions, paired with hopefulness that Maria is in the hands of God. And, that so are they.

Like the fictional Bauldelaires, the real life Chapmans get it. They need each other, every day, and in the face of incredible tragedy. And so do we.

If there is someone in your life today who has been “noble enough,” by walking beside you in the thick of despair, why not take an extra moment to say thank you? As the Bauldelaires know, it is hard to find someone you can trust, and we should be grateful for those who walk beside us. As Will Chapman knows, “One of the things that meant the most to me is how my family has told me that they love me more now than before the accident. Though it’s hard for me to understand, I’m grateful.”

And maybe now is the time for you to help someone who is walking through despair in their own life. Maybe you can help to be one of those who wrap arms of care and love around a hurting soul. In fact, I bet, somewhere along the way, someone is counting themselves deeply grateful for you.

My children and I have now read 12 of the 13 books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, so as I write this, I cannot tell you for a moment how the series will end. We are holding out to read 13. I can’t be sure it will have a happy ending; it probably won’t, although I of course hope it does. Maybe I should have waited to write on this until the end. Something about hovering close to the ‘what happens next,’ however, has been a good thing for us. Like life, we don’t at all know what happens next. We can’t guarantee that everything will be okay and we’ll all have happy endings. But we can guarantee that we can try to be “noble enough,” walking side by side through the rough days, held in the hands of God.

Amen.

In Wisdom,
Brandi Calhoun Diamond

To find out more about the Chapman family, including a link to the article in People magazine and additional interviews, please visit:
http://www.stevencurtischapman.com
You can also find out more about Maria, the Chapman’s passion for adoption, and additional information at their website:
http://members.shaohannahshope.org/site/PageServer

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